we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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