Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
