should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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