i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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