Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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