party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize