No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Banned from zoo.
Again?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
