Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
