It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
