Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
