Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin

(914): View more from New York

and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..

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(616): View more from Michigan

I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

it's 1 pm.

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(212): View more from New York

Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.

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(519): View more from Ontario

my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.

(1-519): View more from Ontario

You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.

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(248): View more from Michigan

It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.

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(949): View more from California

You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.

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