Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
