So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
