Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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