wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i may or may not be watching the land before time
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You are the jesus of drinking
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
