It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
