I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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