Yo dont text me then not text me
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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