If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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