Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
