Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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