Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
