just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
