i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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