Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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