I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
