sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
