ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
