dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I have fence marks all over my body
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
how does that bad decision feel?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
