I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
