awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
