you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
