I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
