sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
