Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
then he tried to convert me to islam
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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