The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
