R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
