I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
