Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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