just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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