Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
