if only i could text you this smell
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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