I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
