I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
