Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
