Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
