More tranny stories later!
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
