oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
