I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
