I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
